We all want to be better than the next person. Whether it is your best friend, a sibling or even a coworker. It is something that is ingrained into our DNA and that can’t be changed. Now….there is nothing wrong with this because it is designed to help us succeed and survive. It becomes a problem when we become obsessed with it and base our value in life on it. It can be an obsession that takes you down a very dark road, I know cause I have dealt with this my whole life. So ,whose your biggest competitor?
I have a brother that is 3 yrs younger than me. As children I excelled in school while he struggled. As I excelled in school, he got more attention than I and I felt that I was not doing enough to get the recognition from my parents for the hard work. I would always wonder “Why?” and felt that they loved him more than me. This was heartbreaking as a child because all a child wants is to be loved and to know without a doubt that they are loved.
Things did not change as my brother and I went through our teenage years. I have never and will never have any kind of resentment towards my parents or my bother. This is because I feel that the issues lies within me and has nothing to do with them. How could I??? There is no book or manual in the world that can teach a parent how to correctly raise a child. Parents learn as life progresses just as a child does. Now as an adult, I understand my childhood a little better but it does not fix the issue that lies within my head. This is because I still feel that my life is worth less than my brothers. Crazy thing is that I KNOW THIS IS A LIE!!!
I know…how can I have a solution when I am still dealing with it??? I have a solution that has helped me start overcoming this and has set me on the right path. The solution is…..get out of your head. I know this sounds weird but it is true. Inside our head resides the lies that fuel this obsession but the outside tells us a different story. Outside our heads are people that love, care, and worry about us and our well-being. To them, we can never be replaced. To them, we are their world. To them, their life would lose purpose if we were not there to share it with them. To them, they need us more than we could ever imagine.
Who is your number one competitor? YOU!!! If you don’t believe me, take a look in a mirror. Who do you see? It is you and only you, no one else. It is impossible to be better than someone else when you are not living their life 100% and vice versa. You can only be better than who you were yesterday. Remind yourself everyday that you are worth more than what lies reside in your head. At some point every day, I look in the mirror and tell myself “I am somebody! I have a purpose! I am loved!” This has helped me get out of my head and re-prioritize what really matters at that exact moment.
Just because someone might have something in life that you don’t, doesn’t mean that your life is worth any less than theirs. Your life is worth so much more than you can possibly imagine. Find a quote or make your own, which reinforces this truth and reminds you of your true value. Take the time every day to repeat this quote and always try to be better than you were yesterday, not better than someone else. It will be a long journey and you will have set backs but in the end you will see exactly how priceless you truly are, I know I have.