The power of “Who am I?”

Self talk is a powerful tool to use in our journey towards success. It can also be the thing that causes us to ‘self destruct’. When someone is battling with depression / anxiety (like me), their mind is bombarded nonstop of this ‘self destruct’ talk. They may even know that this is happening but it is very hard to ignore something that is speaking loudly inside your mind. This can also apply to someone that might not have a mental illness but have low self-confidence. It’s time for us to remind ourselves the truths in the power of who am I.

Traits vs Experiences

Based on Merriam-Webster site, here are the definitions of these:

Traits: a quality that makes one person or thing different from another

Experiences: the process of doing and seeing things and of having things happen to you

As you can see, they have different meanings and yet people tend to use them both to describe who they are. This is wrong and has severe affect on our mental health. It is very important that you truly understand the difference between the two. Traits are the things that define who we are and experiences are the events that occur in our life. For example: Loss of a family member is a life experience of mine and being an introvert is one of my personal traits.

It may seem easy for you to recognize the difference between the two but it is difficult for someone who’s battling with depression, like me.


For every relationship that has failed, I have attributed it as something is wrong with me. In my head, I see myself as damaged and that’s why it ended. Am I really damaged? Hmm…nope and I know this because it is not one of my traits.

So why is it so hard for me to separate trait vs experience?

That is because somewhere in my childhood I put the two together and never pulled them apart. That is until recently.

Who vs What

Based on Merriam-Webster site, here are the definitions of these:

Who: used to question a person’s character or authority

What: used to ask for information about someone or something

This one might be a little more difficult to explain because it is based off of my own opinion. For me, “Who” is truth / fact and “What” is lie / opinion. Here is what I mean: I love bowling aka “Who am I” is truth because I have been on a league for years. I am a loser aka “What am I” is a lie because this is my opinion and no one else thinks that about me. A few years ago, I finally realized that I had been thinking of myself with the “Whats” and not the “Whos”.

It has been a long hard battle to get me to where I am today, mentally and physically. I understand and embrace the fact that this battle may never be won or ended. If I give up, then I am sending the wrong message to others that it is ok for them to give up also. As someone that expresses a lot of positivity amidst the chaos, I could not look myself in the mirror and be ok with others giving up.

How can I embrace something that has caused so much pain and chaos?

This is because I have accepted it as one of my personal traits. It is “Who I am” and once I realized this, I WAS FREE. Free to make my own decisions as the battle rages on. In the past, this ‘evil’ would tell me that I was worthless and I would agree with it as I would fall deeper into the darkness of depression. Now when it wants to tell me this, I tell it “Shut the hell up” and use my techniques to empower the positive truths of myself.

Do I still have bad days? Heck yes I do but I have been having a lot more good days since I learned the truth about me. The truth about who you are will never be found in society, the world or even deep inside your own mind. The truth resides safely tucked away deep in your heart. Only you have the ability and power to access this. The next time you are knee deep in mindless lies, think about yourself in the context of “Who am I?” and then finish the following sentence from the heart…

I AM ________!

Until my next post…Share. Inspire. Conquer.



  • Charli Mills (#)
    September 30th, 2016

    That’s what I call breakthrough thinking and I appreciate you sharing it. It makes sense that we tend to focus on what we are rather than who.

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