How much longer!?!?

If you are like me, you are asking yourself this exact question every single day. How much longer? This question has nothing to do with traffic jams, long lines in the grocery store or even waiting for something in the mail. It has everything to do with the challenges in your life. Mine is depression with anxiety and has been since my teenage years. Always fighting the suicidal thoughts. What is yours?

For so long I have asked myself that exact question every single day along with… Wondering when I would finally give into the suicidal thoughts. Contemplating all of the possible scenarios on how my life will end. Rationalizing with logic how stupid the suicidal thoughts are. Trying to recall what I did wrong to be so invisible with everyone in my life. This is just a few of the many thoughts that were swirling in my mind and it would never stop. Always repeating itself.

How much longer?!?!

It was not until a traumatic event happened in my life that I had finally hit rock bottom. During this time, I took it upon myself to do some reflecting on my life because I felt so lost and needed some answers. I did this for about 2 weeks and came to the realization that…. LIFE IS SO SHORT. This might be obvious to you but for me, this was life changing. I realized that I was worrying and thinking about the wrong stuff.

I now ask myself everyday “How many tomorrows are left?” There is no guarantee that a loved one will be around the next day. You must seize every opportunity available. Let go of the small and non-important things before it is too late. I had carried the burden of regret for years. It is one of the hardest and heaviest things to carry in life. Do not make the same mistake that I did.

Majority of us are dealing with some sort of a challenge daily. Whatever you do, do not let it consume or control your life. If needed, take the time necessary to reflect on what is truly important in your life. I will bet that your daily challenge falls to the bottom of the list and that your family, friends, passions, dreams, etc… rise to the top. I personally know that it is not easy but we must never give in to the chaos that our daily challenges cause us. If anything, always remember….TOMORROW MAY NEVER COME.


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