depression

5 things about MY depression


There is a lot of people in the world and our lives that battle with some sort of depression. Some can be more severe than others and some can be temporary or long term. Just like any other illness, symptoms and treatments vary from person to person. Just because what works for me might not work for you, doesn’t mean that you can give up on yourself. I almost did give up on myself at one point in my life but I am thankful that I didn’t. I want to share with you some things about what I battle with and hope that this helps someone.

1. Not sleepy but exhausted

I always seem to be tired. I have had people suggest to me that I need to get more sleep. I get between 6-8+ hrs every night of sleep. I could sleep more but I have to wake up and get the day going. There is a big difference between sleepy and exhausted. The reason I am constantly exhausted is because I have to ,daily, fight with all the negative thoughts that run through my head. It is never ending and take a lot for me to fight these thoughts and remind myself that they are not true.




2. Always thinking about something

99% of the time, whether it is consciously or subconsciously, my mind is always going. My mind is either trying to remind myself of all the mistakes I made in the past and blame it all on me. My mind will also try to predict the future and run endless scenarios about every thing. This is very exhausting too. So much that I need some sort of “noise” so that I can be productive and even fall asleep at night. Even if I am quiet, I can assure you that something is going on in my head.

3. Medication helps buts is not a solution

This is true for me and might be different for someone else. I do take it daily and it does help, kinda. My medication help control the anxiety and anger issues. This ends up helping with the depression a little. I have tried 2 different medications so far and might try a third if the current one does not improve. Everyone in my life have seen a great improvement since being on the medication.

4. Hide behind sunglasses and hats

This might seem silly to you but it is important to me. If someone can see a smile on your face but not see your eyes, then they will assume that you are happy and ok. You can tell a lot about someone just by looking at their eyes. I use the sunglasses and hat to ‘hide’ myself from others. This is because a lot of people do not understand depression. I would rather try hiding it, than to try explaining about something a lot of people think it is “fake” and just searching for attention. Trust me!!! The last thing I am looking for is attention.

5. Need your acceptance

I will always accept you for who you are and any flaws that you might have. The one thing that truly determines what kind of relationship we have (family, friends, etc..) is whether or not you accept me for who I am, including my flaws. If you show me the same compassion and patience as I show you, then the relationship will be strong. To me, your acceptance is stronger than the lies of depression.

No matter how bad your depression might be, you must never give in to the suicidal thoughts. There are techniques that can help ease your daily battles. There are also people certified in helping us during our struggles of depression. There is no shame in talking to someone because I did and she helped me get on the right path. I would like to hear from you if you also battle with depression and/or anxiety. Feel free to email me → info@bestowingfire.com and share some things about your depression. I will never share any of your info. I will try to reply back and offer support because you are not alone. Until my next blog post…..SHARE. INPSIRE. CONQUER.





1 Comments

  • Stephanie (#)
    September 14th, 2016

    It is incredibly brave of you to share this. Sometimes the most challenging thing is feeling as though we are alone in our feelings. I bet many can relate to you and are grateful you published this piece. Thank you!

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